Ghost Games will likely get there, though, and what they've conjured up in their debut effort is a remarkable achievement. Before downsizing, Criterion created some of the last generation's very best arcade racers in Hot Pursuit and Burnout Paradise. Ghost Games has carried on that torch and crafted a racer that any of its competitors would do well to match in the new generation.
Ignore the nonsense, though, and it can still be electrifying. Take an Audi R18 e-tron away from the messy drone of the career and set about beating a Rivals hot lap time around Spa and it's sublime: the diesel engine roars stealthily, the sun streaming through the Ardennes' thick forest. With Forza Motorsport 5, Turn 10's created a driving experience both accessible and beautiful - but it's been stripped back to make Xbox One's launch, and augmented with a host of ugly extras that only serve Microsoft's bid to make a few dollars more.
Crimson Dragon's got other, bigger problems, though, and like the wave of games it was announced alongside - Diabolical Pitch, Steel Battalion, Haunt and Rise of Nightmares - it's a disappointment, even if it's one that was postponed to the new generation of consoles. It's a thin and troubled tribute to the original Panzer Dragoons, slim on the ambition, vision and art that made its predecessors what they were - and some way short of the invention and execution in the games they inspired.
Welcome back, Snake. You've been missed.
To complain about that would be missing the point, though. Sportsfriends is a celebration of the social side of games, their ability to bring a room together in one loud, raucous moment and how they're so much more fun when enjoyed with company. Alongside like-minded titles such as Towerfall and Nidhogg, this compilation is a pleasant reminder of that power - and, just like its companions, Sportsfriends represents video games at their very, very best.
A life less ordinary.
Grid Autosport is a fine racing game, though it's never a thoroughbred one. It's the muscle car that was Grid 2 stripped out and retooled for the track, but too often you can see the solder-work at the seams. In 2008, Race Driver: Grid was a partial reinvention of the racing genre, equipped with a handful of fresh ideas. Six years on, Grid Autosport - while a definite return to form for Codemasters - is simply a rediscovery of it.
The rhythm of combat remains the same, though it's hard to complain when it's riffing off such a heady beat, where chimed enemy attacks are lithely dodged into slo-mo pugilism, where impossible combos culminate with a 20-foot boot weaved from hair crashing from the heavens and where spinning amidst the avalanche of colour and cartoon violence is Bayonetta herself, stopping only briefly to wink at a player exhausted by the unrelenting joy of it all. Bayonetta 2's biggest disappointment may be that it's an iterative sequel, but it's not such a problem when it's iterating on genius.
F1 2014's a strange game, then, and one I can't even accuse of being just a casual reskin. It's a quantifiable step back for the series, saved only by the fact that what's there remains a satisfactory companion piece to this year's season if you're fortunate enough to have a decent steering wheel. There is at least one other new layer of authenticity for this year's game, though; charging full whack for what amounts to a slight downgrade is the kind of one-sided deal that would do even Bernie proud.
This first bundle of DLC does a fantastic job of leaning on Nintendo's past, so it's just a slight shame that it hasn't learnt from one of Mario Kart 8's only failings and taken the opportunity to overhaul the somewhat limp Battle mode - which, in this instance, hasn't been touched at all. It's a small shame, too, that now Nintendo's folded all of its franchises together, the odds of a standalone F-Zero seem slimmer than ever. Still, it's hard to complain when the future of Mario Kart has been expanded so graciously, and now that one of 2014's best games has just been made that little bit better.
Perhaps the problem is my own, and maybe I'm too content to morbidly tinker with my survivors to push them towards another miserable day. This War of Mine is a game whose simple message - that war is hell, and that we're all capable of being sucked into its moral depths - might be slightly compromised by its strengths as a game, but at least it's a message carried with a great deal more conviction than other, more bombastic portrayals of conflict. That, for certain, is something to be thankful for.
This is an excellent expansion, then, one that complements the main game while gracefully underlining what exactly it was that made that Forza Horizon 2 so enticing in the first place. The price-tag may seem as steep as one of Storm Island's vertiginous jumps, but if you had any fun with Horizon 2 whatsoever, go with it - it'll send you soaring into another worthwhile playground stuffed with little delights.
Even without turning to those updates and additions, there's enough to celebrate. You could put any car on any track and lose yourself in the simulation for hours, squinting through sun caught in the smeared perspex windscreen of a Z4 GT as it sets over Spa and you pick out entry, apex and exit points, or pawing an Elise this way and that through the swerves of Magione. Assetto Corsa's laser focus on the driving experience works wonders - and when it comes to replicating that simple, brilliant pleasure, there's no other game right now that does it better.
The Order: 1886 isn't a disaster, nor is it a particularly good game. It's a hollow diversion, entertaining but outmoded and caught somewhere between a medium it repeatedly fumbles and one it fails to effectively embrace.
A technically impressive port of a masterly RPG, though the small screen ultimately proves too restrictive for a game of this scope.
All of which feeds into Ride's bigger problem. There's not quite enough here to satisfy bike lovers, and certainly nothing to make bike lovers of the merely curious. Ride isn't a failure, but nor is a particularly great game, and like Milestone's previous efforts it's a noble attempt that just falls shy of its targets - even if it does often succeed in scratching an itch you might not have known was there.
What an intoxicating place it is to spend a few hours, too. There are rough edges aplenty, but while the world Affordable Space Adventures conjures is never quite pretty it's certainly immersive, one which draws you in as you struggle in the space between the main screen and the GamePad. This is one of those rare games that could only ever be possible on the Wii U, and if you've any measure of affection or interest in Nintendo's console and what it's capable of, you owe it to yourself to check it out.
It's a minor blot, though, as elsewhere this lives up to the legacy of its predecessor, and takes it to new, interesting places. Kirby rarely gets a starring role in Nintendo's line-up, which is something of a shame, as the Rainbow Curse is another unconventional treat.
Like much of House of Wolves, it feels like part of a more harmonious relationship between Destiny and its players. So much of what has defined Destiny has come through that playful friction between the two - the loot cave, the deliberate disconnects to down Crota and all that glorious cheese - but now it feels like they're pulling together. This isn't a radical overhaul of Destiny, but it's a serious step in the right direction, and it's enough to suggest that the heroic comeback and more widespread adulation might not be too far off after all.
It's those three minutes that really count, though, and it's there you'll find the genius and the joy of Splatoon. It's where you'll find a genre distilled, broken down and reassembled, with each piece snapping perfectly in place. It's where you'll find Nintendo charting new territory, and sharing with you the thrills of their own discovery. And it's where you'll find what happens when Mario's maker steps away from the comfort of the Mushroom Kingdom and tries something new: a true modern classic, and one of Nintendo's finest games in a generation.